Are we ready...?

A friend’s comment on the “plan of life” got me thinking. I had always believed in oneness of the universe. Can our plan be different from the whole of universe’s plan?

As we all live, knowingly or unknowingly we also plan for our future. Even if some of us do not plan and like to live each day as it comes, at least secretly we all wish our future to be “good”...though this “good” is very relative to each individual and has different meaning for all. But even then, this “goodness” of tomorrow still contains few attributes common to all – happiness, love, satisfaction, peace, stability, and so forth.

We sometimes like to plan, plan for our better future, for our well being. But most of us find that in due course, somewhere, “our plans” for life are simply outrun by the “plans of life” for us. Why does it happen? Who is responsible for it? Where is our fault in it? What did we do to change it?...These are pertinent questions which hit our mind and heart then; unanswered.

Let us try and find out how life takes its shape and why so.

We live in a world where we all are connected to each other. The connection can be visible and straight or “just not known” connection. The connection can be close or very very remote. Now when one big change takes place in anyone’s life, that change has ripple effect. A person closest to him feels the effect at its highest level and a person remotely connected might not notice it at all at that moment.

Let us take one real example: One person died at an age where his girl child is unmarried. The child felt as if the roof over her head had blown away, everything seemed to be dark and lost to her, there was a void created forever... That’s a very direct effect as the child was directly closely related to her father. The time passed by; the child grew up, got educated, got married, and then took up a job as a teacher. In her class she found a little girl who was brilliant, chirpy, beautiful, vibrant and very lively. One day this little girl was absent. And then she did not come the second day. She did not come for third consecutive day and then for the whole week. Next week when she came back, she looked weak, shy, sad, silent and withdrawn in her own world. The teacher who really loved the girl, just asked, “what happened my dear?...” and this little girl broke down uncontrollably. She narrated to the teacher as to what tragedy had happened to her. She unfortunately had lost her father to a train accident who was the only surviving member of her family. As people in her extended family were fighting over remaining property, one of the aunts at least sent her to the school. She did not know what to do, where to look upon, the aunt had forgotten to pack her tiffin, she was hungry too. Oh, she also did not know who would pay her fee and if she would be able to attend school any more. She wanted to attend school; she loved her friends, her teacher. The teacher after learning this went completely blank and silent; she knew what it felt like. She could not say anything; nothing. But then, next week, the child was a welcome to the teacher’s family as her adopted daughter!...The story goes on, it is a real story.

The death of the father of this teacher directly did not have anything to do with this little girl, who was probably not even born then, but the effect of this incident on the mind of that teacher did greatly affect the later life of the little girl who was adopted as her daughter. In the times to come, this adopted little girl became a paediatrician surgeon, a doctor specialising in heart surgery of new born children, giving lives and smiles to many.

There are many and more real stories which tell us how connected we are to each other. There is always a thread which connects all of us through each other. It’s an interconnected web of life, incidents, actions, thoughts...; it is known as “Universe”. It is “One”.

Incidents like these happen on an everyday basis, but as we do not know the story behind, we are never able to connect the dots and so many things happening around us go unnoticed. We are never able to read and know the plans of the universe. But don’t we now know that everything is related and connected, each action of an individual affects the whole world, each incident has effects known and unknown on the whole of universe, each thought has vibrations going round and round attracting other vibrations - other thoughts. Who knows if one tragic death will bring smile to millions of life, one divorce will bring more love, one loss will bring higher profits, and one phone call will bring your soul mate?

...I would like to mention something here, something very very pertinent. I do not know how many people really believe here that departed souls can be contacted; even I have my doubts. But a friend of a friend who claims to do so, mentioned something mind blowing. We all have heard of a rape victim in Delhi, commonly known as “Nirbhaya”, who lost her battle against life in December last year. I would not like to go into her last days as they were very very tragic. I literally cried when I heard about it, it was just too much for anybody. Well, story goes on like this, this so called friend of a friend supposedly got in contact with the soul of “Nirbhaya” and asked her about how she was feeling after her death. The reply from Nirbhaya was unimaginable: she said “ I am happy. I did my job well. I was there to create awareness so that tomorrows are safer for others and I understand I was able to do it...”... Yes, she did it. She did wake us up. She did what nobody could do in decades. It is time we complete her job. Now the onus is on us to restore faith in manhood.

The whole thing, when I heard from my friend, mesmerized me, I was too stunned to speak. I did not know how much truth was there, but I just could not say anything, I was completely blank. I did not know if I should thank Nirbhaya for what she had done for others, or I should shun the whole thing as a fake. I still do not know. I just know some things are better untouched. It is beyond me...

There are things we do not know, we cannot even imagine, but it might happen and we only know about it later on. We can only read our lives once it is written on the pages of history, and not before. We now just know that each plan affects our plan and our plan affects everyone’s plan, each life affects our lives and our lives affect everyone’s life, and each thought affects our thoughts and our thoughts affect each thought of this whole universe...

We just know that there is always a story behind...! Always!

But, are we ready to accept it...?

Its time...Can we?

Last night I was watching TV after a very long time. I would rather read a book than spend time in front of idiot box but somehow I decided to be like an idiot myself after I finished having a glass of milk. Surfing through the channels I had to find my way till movies or sports section would start. Midway there were news channels. I was surprised, saddened and shocked that every other channel was either talking about a brutal crime or rape. A thought struck me - “ Is it my India :( ? ”

Today, the whole virtual world is aloud with one more unimaginably brutal rape in capital city of India, that too of an innocent five year old. If you are visiting twitter or other social networking sites in India, you just cannot escape the news. Everybody is ferociously outraged, and rightly so. Even if it is done by someone else we all are so ashamed of the act that our heads hang low. I guess everybody must be thinking - “Where are we going? There is no governance, no safety, no values, no humanity, no freedom – not even for small, young, innocent children. Seems like the whole world around is filled with extreme fear, horror and uncertainty. What do we do? Do we have place for us to live without fear? ”

Rape is not an act of sexual frustration, it is a psychotic disease. And the problem is that disease is spreading fast. The man is no more a man; he is becoming Satan.

I do not really know the immediate cure. I really don’t; except giving extreme fear back to that Satan. Any rapist caught should be hanged publicly but not before his vital "tool of terror" is severed, and that too publicly. Satan should also know what it feels like. When one Satan would feel, it will spread to another as well. It works the same way; as disease...Of course the administration has to make sure that it has actual culprit before it’s done. That’s the only immediate cure I can think of. Let me know if you know another?

Though, the long term impact can be caused by more emphasis on education ( I do not mean academics, mind you), and awareness of human values. It needs to be imbibed since young age. Secondly, the usage of any kind of drugs / alcohol needs to be administered by oneself. Once a person gets drunk he is not the same person any more (don’t we all know it). Most of the gruesome crimes are committed only after getting drunk. Once one is high on alcohol, his awareness goes down, his sensitivity goes for a toss.

Its time we really need to give it back to the Satan. Give it back hard. Lets find out the ways!...And then we need to develop an awareness, a process, a system, an educational giving so that our next generation does not live in constant fear and anxiety like us, so that we have better world, so that we have happier tomorrows, and, so that sky is no more red with blood of a girl child. 

We all have to start on it immediately. Can we? Even in small ways?

There is that light at the end of the tunnel :-)!

Life is not so easy, just not easy, especially when one is down and does not see tomorrow. There is only one thing that keeps all of us going and that is seemingly a dim light at the end of the dark tunnel. Hope, as we call it.

Hope is nothing but a future phenomenon which seems to have better surviving set of factors than today.

It, I understand, is an established fact that youth is better than old, in almost every way. But why?

It is not because body is better when you are young, not because stress is not so frightening, not because responsibilities are less; these are only the reasons we think exist. The fact is different. It is because we have more hope at younger age, we have more tomorrows to look at. It is because we know in our youth that we still have time to do something about our dreams, our goals. As we reach older stage, we find less hope. Then at old age we start feeling that while we have already walked so many years and still could not reach the dim light at the end of the tunnel; surely then it must be far away, or, it could be as delusive and misleading an end as horizon, where it looks near but it never comes. We lose the hope then. We accept that it cannot get any better. We get ready to die – to go to a world where there is hope.

We do not need love to pull us, we do not need money to keep us, we  do not need strength to push us – we just need hope for tomorrow. Hope has it all; it has love, it has money, it has strength and much much more.

Had it been so that money/wealth can keep us going, no billionaire would have died ever. They die because they do not see tomorrow better than their today, they too want to change their world then, to play a new game, where, they have tomorrows- better ones. Don’t you think if someone is terminally ill and you tell him that there is a new cure which has just arrived and it can save him, only if he can wait till tomorrow ( i.e. giving him hope till tomorrow), he would pull all his strength to reach that tomorrow. A child beggar of age 2-3 years does not get proper food, proper shelter, proper medicine but he survives because he feels, he is told, that there is “hope”. In most cases he dies after finding that there is no hope here anymore.

Man is very clever. He knows that only hope will guide him to live till tomorrow and with so much of misery and pain around where was the hope? So he created God. Sometimes I feel that the God is nothing more than actually a place where you can find different kinds of hope(s)... and you can borrow one whenever you want, that too without having to give anything in exchange.  Don’t we all do that sometimes :- borrow hope? Hope of a loving partner, hope of a family, hope of a better lifestyle, hope of debt free life, hope of a child, hope of a better tomorrow overall...

Is it possible to imitate God? Can we do something so that we can instil hope among our peers, our friends, our loved ones, our children, our people, and sometimes to strangers...can we tell them that they surely have a better tomorrow? Can we suggest that everything is going to be fine, to just have patience? Can we tell them that we are standing beside, nothing to fear, all will be okay?

Can we give hope?...sometimes?!

The Test...!

God is Great!

Who could ever think that I would survive till now and complete six months without falling away. Even I doubted that, but God has his own beautiful plans.

... I have not eaten anything for six straight months now... yes, nothing at all, and still continuing. I survive only by drinking, mostly milk and sattu. Sometimes I change the taste with a coffee or a tea. It has been really tough at times – being perennially hungry, not sleeping at nights, body giving up, losing weight every day and on top – a looming uncertainty of tomorrows.

Sometimes people come up and tell you stories of different guys who fell apart in few days, who lost memory, who lost body systems, who got diseases, who died and so forth...they try to say it is tough; they make it tougher sometimes...I just smile and accept of what they think of me, and my body. In actuality, I just listen to all of them as I also do not know anything, not much about it. I have never heard of anyone who did not eat for months and survived, like me. I am in full working routine and have travelled extensively in last few months. In fact in February alone, I covered more than 20 cities. I drink water, I drink milk and I go on. There is nothing else in my mind, I have left the results on the Almighty...I just know that I have to go on, my heart says - to go on, as long as I don’t reach the culmination point.

I am not proud of what I am doing because it is not something to be proud of, it’s just crazy...I will not suggest anyone to follow me or take my example. Everybody’s body is different, their will is different and what drives them is different. I have never heard of anyone who did it. All websites, all doctors, all saints, all ascetics – they are against it. It is tough. I am doing it because I have taken a vow, it is a personal choice, because it makes me happy and I feel connected. When I started it, frankly, I thought my vow would be completed in a matter of days...well, I was horribly wrong...things went haywire just after, and I knew that I was in for the toughest test of my life. The test which can take my life also. Did I fear? No.

The only thing which drives me, is the culmination point of the Vow; when I see that in my mind I feel that all this is just worth it, it is worth being hungry and dying,  if it is to be so. This thought drives me each day; it pulls me each moment and tells me to go on.

I started it because more than anyone else I needed to know, for myself, whether what I felt was just fallout of happenings of my life or was it real...well now - I know it was real. Had it not been real it would not bestow the power to pull me so hard...so long.

I am humbled by the concern I get from some people, and I feel sorry. I do not wish to hurt anyone by what I am doing, it is a personal choice for me and I do not want to set any precedent.

Now I know one thing for sure – what I wish for is real and it will show up. But I still do not know, when? Do I get to see and feel it before I cross over?

Treasure...!

“Life has been very kind overall...” I thought, as I got up this morning.

...

I was blessed with best of friends, sweetest of children, warmest of people. I lived in the most magnificent country, enjoyed the company of Godly spiritual masters and saw amazing places.

And then I experienced of what is known as “moments of real love”… moments for which, I am ready to trade my entire life. Any day, any time.

Sometimes when I go to sleep I wonder if there is anything I wish to carry from here when I move to other world like my loved ones, then those are the only moments engraved in my memory which I would steal away. All else is very very ordinary.

...

 Looking back, the times had been good and bad, right and wrong, happy and sad..but life in general was cool until I was left alone... people I could cry with, had crossed over, untimely.

Still I did not give up; I kept trying, failing sometimes and succeeding at other times. Only visible change after their departure was that I always wept alone... silently... in some isolated corner of mother earth. But deep down there were more changes, my excitement towards life was not the same anymore, and I was not the same.

…

Then came she, and changed my world again… being totally unaware of her impact on my life. It was a short period, but beautiful, very beautiful.

Though it is a realm of silence between us now, could I thank her for all the moments she spent on me and tell her that I felt a tinge of the same magical moments... the moments I always wish to carry over…

Thank You..! Thank You for all your words... for all your thoughts... for all what I received!

It was wonderful with you!

...

As I turn 38 today, these are the only moments which I have gained in my lifetime, my only treasure!

...

I really do not know where I would end, but I now know where I want to begin..

...

Thou, I repeat what I have always asked, one and only thing: “No matter whatever you give me, give me enough strength with it!”

Its Resolution time!

Emotional Signs used below:

J  Happy              L  Sad                 ;)  Winking        :P  Tongue             [-0<  Praying          B-)  Cool        >:D<  Big hug          #:-s   whew!                  \m/  Rock on!              :I  Straight face  

............................................................................................................

Its Resolution time!

My resolutions for 2013:

1.  As I am on liquids for more than three months now, ( I mean it L..have not used my teeth literally..and still continuing), my body seems to wither away to some extent. I have lost about 15 kgs. of weight and all old clothes are not fitting anymore. So I resolve to get few decent suits stitched in the first week itself ;) :P..long time I have not spent on myself ;):P

2. I resolve to get higher attention from the Almighty to get me out of all the soups which I created for myself ;) :P.... [-0< 

3. As I always ran away from hard work it eventually seems to have caught up with me at the age of 37..okay, well, anyway, when I am already caught ( the situation is such) I resolve to work hard and strong this time unlike previous times ( Do I have any choice?) :P

4. My wish list brings me three primary wishes..to read more books, to travel to new places and watch more movies..I am preparing a list of books I wanna read and the classics I wanna watchJ!..Travelling is of course on the cards  B-)

5. Do I love stability? Well, the Almighty wishes me the same so I wish the same for myself.

6. Love has always been my centre point of living and I hope to receive ample of it starting this year >:D<

7. Simplicity has always been my goal of life..although being simple is not simple #:-s ..Simple people are simple and thats the way it is..I will again try to break this myth by accepting all that comes in the way as the gifts of God and try to remain calm and composed in my thoughts..a genuine try!

8. Positivity is what we all need and I will try to look things from positive angles..\m/

9. I had always been a foodie..I hope to get a chance to come back on food again..how I miss eating all the junk food    ....yummy ;) ...  [-0<   

10. To Take life easy...to take death easy (who knows)...have a jolly attitude towards life in generalJ!

11. The mood is sombre because of the death of the brave heart Delhi girl who was gang raped brutally..I resolve to spread education in my capacity which can bring some change in the way we perceive others’ lives..May her soul rest in peace! May this never happen again with anyone.. Amen!

I just wish..

“I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much." - Mother Teresa 

How true the thought is! There are tough times in life and one cannot make a better statement .

Challenges have always inspired me, and I have always loved them, but at times..I got defeated. Completely defeated. So much so that I thought of quitting the game and starting another but was saved..unfortunately or fortunately..only time will tell.

Pain can be handled, but it becomes difficult when it continues for long and one does not know if it will ever end. That is when one starts succumbing..he sees hope as finished and he falls, falls for never getting up, falls defeated. Love or Hope of being loved is the only thing which stands between defeat and win..it is the only pulling factor because it gives you a goal, a resting place, and a reason to live. It is the only light at the end of the tunnel. It keeps you going..but if it fades, so does the strength in the legs.

I do not know how to rate one’s abilities. I sometimes feel that I am very able, and then there are times when I feel I cannot go on. When I think deep, I feel the ability does not change much, it is the confidence on the ability which shakes. The confidence reasons, it sees results, it goes logical, it is worldly, it is emotionless..the ability does not reason, it does not see results, it is not logical - it is inherent, it is natural, it is godly and it is part of emotion. Though, it is factored by physical and mental state to be executed into people’s sensory format.

What is Love: Hundreds of books can be written about it and even then it would remain outside the purview of words..and rightly so. It is beyond words. The simple reason for this is that Love is not worldly, it is godly, it is unlimited and Words talk in limitations by their origin and nature. If I attempt to put in limitations to Love I would probably say that: Love is a feeling of togetherness. Period. If I try to define the character of Love I would say that it has a scale, which means it is represented or felt in degrees..from negative to positive Infinity. Period. You cannot understand Love, you can just feel it. You cannot describe it, you can just show it.

It is only faith which can endure hard times, and it is only love which can produce faith. We can brood on times gone by and worry over the future to arrive..but I do not know if it will solve anything. I just know that I pull up myself every morning, I see a smiling You, and I say to God: “ I know you won’t give me anything I can’t handle.  I just wish you didn’t trust me so much.”