She!

I would woo and marry her - in this and all my lives to come!

It did not matter how she looked: old, tanned & fat, or, young, fair and slim – I just loved her all the time, some things never changed between us; her eyes would always light up with that sparkle and a contagious smile played on her lips, whenever she saw me arriving.

I would put my arms around her and sleep like that the whole night, and at times she would do the same.

Whenever hurt and sad, I would put my head in her lap and cry, sometimes so loudly... and she would just say: I am there na! Then hold me tight as if never to let me go. I would feel her hot tears on my cheeks and neck. I can give away my whole life for this and I mean it. How could I make her cry, I stupid fool… is that what I promised her?

I would take her to all the beautiful places on earth: the mountains, the beaches, the jungles and the plains... romantic and historical cities and remote corners of the world. Every few months we would have a holiday. Just us.

I would work very hard to bring diamonds to her: big and shiny... but then, she would give away a sizeable portion of our earnings to the less privileged... She felt that they have equal rights on what we have as sons and daughters of earth and thus as our brothers and sisters, how correct she was, did I ever think of it that way?  She would love to serve as much as I would.  As an unwritten rule she would manage whatever I would bring and I was so happy to bring, to bring to her whatever I could.

I would make tea for her on Sunday mornings and bring it to her on bed with the snacks as beautifully garnished snacks as I could manage I would very confidently make delicious pakoras but somehow they lacked something... probably her hands.

I would go for evening walks with her to lake and sit there sometimes. Many couples and families would come there to have a jolly time. There were puchkawalas, the muriwalas, the monkey man, the jhulas and what not. We both loved the atmosphere.

We would listen to songs and music together and dance sometimes... she had learnt few dances and I was of course the impromptu one. I never understood how it came so naturally to her, as I really had to work so hard on it, and still, I lacked that grace with which she moved round and round and round.

We would call our friends and loved ones on dinners at home and I would help her in the kitchen. We played cards while having snacks and talked endlessly. Both of us loved to talk, specially talking to each other J!

I would earn enough to bring her the best of things but then we would happily settle with good ones and spend the rest on the world around us, on children and on adults who needed it more than us.

Once when I was not doing well and was in a deep financial crunch, she brought out all her jewellery and other expensive belongings to help me restart, whatever her mother had gifted at the time of our marriage - that too… she said it is not useful if not used at the right time. She started to work with me and I saw her unmatched determination to pull me out from the mess I had created for myself and for her. I had never imagined that she was much better at work than me. She was rational, disciplined and focussed. I lacked all these three qualities. Instead I was a dreamer, a visionary, a strategist, a hard worker and somehow I just knew what would click. Finally we gt out of it. She would never mention why I did the blunders I did, she would never ask a question, would never come up with anything related to that... I would know she had faith in me. An immense faith which is unfluttering. I was afraid how I would keep it up. But I would. I promised.

She would never hit children and would always derive different ways of showing them what we understood as Right, until they were grown up enough to understand what was Right for them.

We would never ask our children to come first in class, but we would always ask them to know why and how of things, to learn music and dance, to be happy.

On our birthdays and anniversaries, on children’s birthdays we would go to distribute lunch and sweets in orphanage and old age homes and then at night,  we would have parties for friends and loved ones... sometimes we kept it on weekend evenings so that the party is longer and hangover is taken care of ;)

I would still write poems, mostly in Hindi, some for her and some on nature… I would write columns in my blog but she always had to correct them, why did I always make silly grammatical mistakes? She wrote so beautifully, I could never tell her that but I eagerly waited for her next writing... but then, she probably knew I stalked her blogs :P

We played cards and ludo… carrom and badminton… sometimes chess which she would not agree to as she hated losing... and how I always lost to her in word-making games… I would grin whenever she would invite me for the same.

We would love each other’s families equally... her parents were as precious to me as mine. Her sisters thought me of as their elder brother and her brother thought of me as a close friend.

Whenever I went out on a business convention or other invitations on dinner, I made sure that I ate only after she had her meals, we both hated to eat without each other… I would call her and make sure that she has had something. On normal days she would always wait for me whenever I was late... how I had loved eating together, more than the food it would be a chance to sit with her at the end of the day, did I tell her that it would take away all my tiredness and I was ready to take on the world again? Occasionally she would make me eat with her hands, was I still a child to her when it comes to eating? But how I would cherish it! And wow, the food she prepared, she knew my taste more that I did.

I would always wear what she would give me, I would understand she had better sense and whatever others said - would look good on me, mattered least... At parties I always advised her on the colours to wear, Red with White in which she looked so amazing... Pink and Mauve which made her look so classy... then she would choose a matching colour for me… I never wanted to understand why, even if I understood J!

She would keep simple, which went with me well as I never believed in make-up... a little is okay, rest is all to make it up for what you are not. But she would keep one wish of mine, she would mostly wear the diamond earrings I brought for her, they looked stunningly beautiful on her, was it She who made diamonds beautiful?

I could never see any other woman with lustful eyes, it would be so natural for me... she had all what I needed, more than that... when you are in love, you just love what you have, you never need anything else, never.

I would always give loads of birthday gifts to her, and a candlelit midnight cake… sometimes with surprise parties of friends and loved ones.

I would nurse her when she would fall ill, would prepare light food for her - yes I learnt it when she had fever for the first time. I would give her medicines and then slowly take her to sleep by pressing her head gently and singing a soothing song to her. Would she be a kid whenever she would be ill? But she loved it and would drift off intothe world of dreams. I would cover her with an additional sheet so that she did not feel cold.

She would hug me when I would come home and I would kiss her before I went to work… we both would have to steal those sometimes from other’s eyes ;)!

At home, I would know she is near because of her anklets; it made our house so lively. Everything looked dull and I would miss the sound so much when she had gone for her friend’s wedding for five days… then she never went anywhere without me again. We both knew after this, that we could not live separate for successive days. How I would long to see her back when I would be coming from my business tours. We needed to see each other regularly even if it means not speaking much, or we felt some disorientation, as if life is going nowhere. But there would be times when practical reasons would keep us far, and then how I would hate practicality at times... I was an emotional man and I had no regrets for being so.

She would love movies and drag me to see some. I would also love watching, though, more of munching popcorns, tasting pastries and drinking cola in the hall which I liked more... sometimes I would hold her hand in the hall and we both would see each other, not saying a word, we were in love!

We always had something to speak about, so at times we would decide to keep quiet and read our books, she was more into novels and I was more into non-fiction…  and then after some time… I would break the rule and lift her to bed, she would mischievously smile and say that the novel was so indulging but did I care anymore... then there would be a tigress after seconds ;) and we loved that ;)!

But there were times when we were on holidays, that we would be quiet for long, sitting hand in hands watching snow laden mighty mountain peaks, or, magnanimous and the beautiful blue sea mingling with the horizon... we both would get bound in time, till a nearby sound would break us out of reverie.On a  few of those nights after we retired to bed, she would keep her head on my chest and hold me tight, tears flowing down her cheeks... I would take her in my arms with wet eyes, we would not say anything to each other… we did not need words!

When we grew up to be not so young, I would apply mehandi in her hair. She hated grey. I too hated grey; they reminded me of an end to a beautiful journey. She had been doing my manicure and pedicure for long; I used to tease her but never went to any salon... I was not a ‘parlour’ man in any case.

When we grew older we shifted our base from the metro to our farms, we would play a more active role in the school we opened when we were young, and it had blossomed into the best school of the district.  We would see our spices and herbs everyday now rather than once in a month or so.

We never discussed politics but we always voted after a debate on who is the right candidate… we voted for the same candidate except when there was a favourite actress of her in the election. We smiled and allowed each other… life is not so dependent on leaders when we are our own.

We had four children and all so innocent and sweet… one or two not so sharp as the others but they all had one thing in common when they grew up… they seemed happy with life and they always carried a smile.

We both loved Krishna, Buddha, Mahavira, and Shiva. Then there were Laotzu, Confucius, and other path showers we discussed... Oh and did we practice drills of LRH?

Unknowingly my whole life revolved around her and she was the centre who was holding me on to life… without her it would have been all meaningless.

I knew my time had come, I was a little ill. I kept my head in her lap, she also knew that we were old, I held her and she held me tighter as if never to let me go away.. how afraid I was to know that I had to be without her. I had never lived without her at my side; I was no one without her, she made me... then she gently touched my hands and kissed me on forehead, I took her hands in mine.. her hands were trembling, so were mine, I saw eternity in her eyes… I still saw the sparkle as mine slowly ebbed away.

It was not even a minute as I moved over those two bodies without knowing what to do, when I saw one collapsing on the other and someone emanating… she came up from the other body, I see a content smile and an exciting sparkle…

..We go on to celebrate another life…!

Hey, I Love her!

I would woo and marry her - in this and all my lives to come!