Yes or No..?

There is a typical pertinent dilemma - that we face many times over. To say Yes, or to say No !

It could be anywhere, anytime, with anyone and doing anything. The choice can be difficult and confusing. How do we get out of it..how do we solve it..how do we reach to the right answer..?

There are loads of books on teaching us to say “No” and another load of them who encourage us to accept, face the challenges, take risks and say “Yes”.  Where do we ultimately head to..?

Let me share Four simple rules that I made to myself to deal with the dilemma; I do not know whether they reach  to the right answer, Right and Wrong being very relative, but following them definitely makes me feel better.

Rule 1:

Scene 1: If someone asks for something, my first reaction (intentionally) should be to give. If I can bear the loss easily, I should invariably give, keeping it simple. I have eliminated in me the thought process of -  how it will help other, whether it will help other....does not make much sense, I should do what I should do. If one needs it and I can do without it, its his.

Scene 2: If I need what he asks for, I say No.     

         

Scene 3: But when I have high affinity with the person concerned,(close relatives or a good friend), I believe that  he has fair right on my possessions. Even if it demands some pain, I will take it and try to give what is needed.

Scene 4: And if I love the person concerned, (close friends or a little more than friends, he or she), I will always give it. If I do not have but then I can arrange, I will arrange it. If I cannot arrange, then I will try harder to arrange it.... Period. For me, love is uppermost. Nothing lies beyond. I live for it, I do not even mind dying for it.

Rule 2:

Scene 1: Anyone asks me to do something and its not my job, I will direct him to where it can be done.

Scene 2: He persists/insists a little more on me doing it, I will say NO.

Scene 3: A friend asks me to do something, I will try to do unless it is highly demanding; does not matter whether it is my job or not.

Scene 4: If I love the person and he/she asks me to do something; consider it done. No questions asked.

Rule 3:

Scene 1: Someone asks for an advice or suggests a problem of his, I will use my day-to-day self and advise without spending much time over it.

Scene 2: The guy wants more advice than normal, I will charge him.

Scene 3: If its a friend, I will discuss the matters with him/her..contemplate and ponder..will take time to assess his situation..and tell him my mind.

Scene 4: If I love the person, his/her problem is my problem. I will go to the root of the problem, scan the options in mind.. and then if at all I feel  that I am not good enough to understand the problem correctly and think of a permanent solution, I will take help from the experts on it..  discuss what they have to say.. will again take some time.. will pray to the Almighty to give me an insight into it, and, show us the right path.. and then, finally suggest him/her about what my mind says, and,  what my heart speaks.. I will stand beside as long as the problem is not rooted out.

Rule 4:

Scene 1: When I want to do something - I will say Yes and do it.

Scene 2: When I want to do something and it harms another - I will say No, and literally avoid it as much as I can, checking the options without it.

Scene 3: When I want to do something I believe in, but, which the world is not approving of - I will surely do it. I give world's approval a damn; please f*** off and let me live my life - my way.

Scene 4: When I want to do something I believe in, and my friends or loved ones go against the idea, what  will I do?.. I will never say them f*** off ..{ Of course how can I? Can I afford to live without you guys?..Never. Bloody I love you too much to let you go :-)! }....What then?.. I will simply smile - and do it anyway :P. I know my loved ones would be angry for the time being, but they will be back, grinning though ;). And moreover, would I not be ready to face their wrath ;)....I know what I have to say to them: ..Agli baar nahi karenge yaar, chhor na.. jaan lega kya ab bachhe ki ....yaar, maloom tere ko, kitna mazaa aa raha tha ;):P!....and how much I missed you then :P....Love you na :-)!

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The above rules really help in taking quick decisions for a Yes or a No! . They keep my happiness quotient high; things seem easier; and life - more simple.

Try and see, if they work with you as well ..:-)!..and remember to let me know. I will eagerly be waiting for your feedback !