I would woo and marry her - in this
and all my lives to come!
It did not matter how she looked:
old, tanned & fat, or, young, fair and slim – I just loved her all the time, some things never changed between us; her eyes
would always light up with that sparkle and a contagious smile played on her lips,
whenever she saw me arriving.
I would put my arms around her and
sleep like that the whole night, and at times she would do the same.
Whenever hurt and sad, I would put my
head in her lap and cry, sometimes so loudly... and she would just say: I am
there na! Then hold me tight as if never to let me go. I would feel her hot
tears on my cheeks and neck. I can give away my whole life for this and I mean
it. How could I make her cry, I stupid fool… is that what I promised her?
I would take her to all the beautiful
places on earth: the mountains, the beaches, the jungles and the plains...
romantic and historical cities and remote corners of the world. Every few
months we would have a holiday. Just us.
I would work very hard to bring
diamonds to her: big and shiny... but then, she would give away a sizeable
portion of our earnings to the less privileged... She felt that they have equal
rights on what we have as sons and daughters of earth and thus as our brothers
and sisters, how correct she was, did I ever think of it that way? She would love to serve as much as I
would. As an unwritten rule she would manage
whatever I would bring and I was so happy to bring, to bring to her whatever I
could.
I would make tea for her on Sunday
mornings and bring it to her on bed with the snacks as beautifully garnished
snacks as I could manage I would very confidently make delicious pakoras but somehow they lacked something...
probably her hands.
I would go for evening walks with her
to lake and sit there sometimes. Many couples and families would come there to
have a jolly time. There were puchkawalas, the muriwalas, the monkey man, the jhulas and what not. We both loved the
atmosphere.
We would listen to songs and music
together and dance sometimes... she had learnt few dances and I was of course
the impromptu one. I never understood how it came so naturally to her, as I
really had to work so hard on it, and still, I lacked that grace with which she
moved round and round and round.
We would call our friends and loved
ones on dinners at home and I would help her in the kitchen. We played cards
while having snacks and talked endlessly. Both of us loved to talk, specially talking
to each other J!
I would earn enough to bring her the
best of things but then we would happily settle with good ones and spend the
rest on the world around us, on children and on adults who needed it more than
us.
Once when I was not doing well and
was in a deep financial crunch, she brought out all her jewellery and other expensive
belongings to help me restart, whatever her mother had gifted at the time of
our marriage - that too… she said it is not useful if not used at the right
time. She started to work with me and I saw her unmatched determination to pull
me out from the mess I had created for myself and for her. I had never imagined
that she was much better at work than me. She was rational, disciplined and
focussed. I lacked all these three qualities. Instead I was a dreamer, a
visionary, a strategist, a hard worker and somehow I just knew what would
click. Finally we gt out of it. She would never mention why I did the blunders
I did, she would never ask a question, would never come up with anything
related to that... I would know she had faith in me. An immense faith which is
unfluttering. I was afraid how I would keep it up. But I would. I promised.
She would never hit children and
would always derive different ways of showing them what we understood as Right,
until they were grown up enough to understand what was Right for them.
We would never ask our children to
come first in class, but we would always ask them to know why and how of
things, to learn music and dance, to be happy.
On our birthdays and anniversaries,
on children’s birthdays we would go to distribute lunch and sweets in orphanage
and old age homes and then at night, we would have parties for friends and
loved ones... sometimes we kept it on weekend evenings so that the party is
longer and hangover is taken care of ;)
I would still write poems, mostly in
Hindi, some for her and some on nature… I would write columns in my blog but
she always had to correct them, why did I always make silly grammatical
mistakes? She wrote so beautifully, I could never tell her that but I eagerly
waited for her next writing... but then, she probably knew I stalked her blogs
:P
We played cards and ludo… carrom and
badminton… sometimes chess which she would not agree to as she hated losing...
and how I always lost to her in word-making games… I would grin whenever she
would invite me for the same.
We would love each other’s families
equally... her parents were as precious to me as mine. Her sisters thought me
of as their elder brother and her brother thought of me as a close friend.
Whenever I went out on a business
convention or other invitations on dinner, I made sure that I ate only after
she had her meals, we both hated to eat without each other… I would call her
and make sure that she has had something. On normal days she would always wait
for me whenever I was late... how I had loved eating together, more than the
food it would be a chance to sit with her at the end of the day, did I tell her
that it would take away all my tiredness and I was ready to take on the world
again? Occasionally she would make me eat with her hands, was I still a child
to her when it comes to eating? But how I would cherish it! And wow, the food
she prepared, she knew my taste more that I did.
I would always wear what she would
give me, I would understand she had better sense and whatever others said -
would look good on me, mattered least... At parties I always advised her on the
colours to wear, Red with White in which she looked so amazing... Pink and
Mauve which made her look so classy... then she would choose a matching colour
for me… I never wanted to understand why, even if I understood J!
She would keep simple, which went
with me well as I never believed in make-up... a little is okay, rest is all to
make it up for what you are not. But she would keep one wish of mine, she would
mostly wear the diamond earrings I brought for her, they looked stunningly
beautiful on her, was it She who made diamonds beautiful?
I could never see any other woman
with lustful eyes, it would be so natural for me... she had all what I needed,
more than that... when you are in love, you just love what you have, you never
need anything else, never.
I would always give loads of birthday
gifts to her, and a candlelit midnight cake… sometimes with surprise parties of
friends and loved ones.
I would nurse her when she would fall
ill, would prepare light food for her - yes I learnt it when she had fever for
the first time. I would give her medicines and then slowly take her to sleep by
pressing her head gently and singing a soothing song to her. Would she be a kid
whenever she would be ill? But she loved it and would drift off intothe world
of dreams. I would cover her with an additional sheet so that she did not feel
cold.
She would hug me when I would come
home and I would kiss her before I went to work… we both would have to steal
those sometimes from other’s eyes ;)!
At home, I would know she is near
because of her anklets; it made our house so lively. Everything looked dull and
I would miss the sound so much when she had gone for her friend’s wedding for
five days… then she never went anywhere without me again. We both knew after this,
that we could not live separate for successive days. How I would long to see
her back when I would be coming from my business tours. We needed to see each
other regularly even if it means not speaking much, or we felt some
disorientation, as if life is going nowhere. But there would be times when
practical reasons would keep us far, and then how I would hate practicality at
times... I was an emotional man and I had no regrets for being so.
She would love movies and drag me to
see some. I would also love watching, though, more of munching popcorns,
tasting pastries and drinking cola in the hall which I liked more... sometimes
I would hold her hand in the hall and we both would see each other, not saying
a word, we were in love!
We always had something to speak
about, so at times we would decide to keep quiet and read our books, she was
more into novels and I was more into non-fiction… and then after some time… I
would break the rule and lift her to bed, she would mischievously smile and say
that the novel was so indulging but did I care anymore... then there would be a
tigress after seconds ;) and we loved that ;)!
But there were times when we were on
holidays, that we would be quiet for long, sitting hand in hands watching snow
laden mighty mountain peaks, or, magnanimous and the beautiful blue sea
mingling with the horizon... we both would get bound in time, till a nearby sound
would break us out of reverie.On a few
of those nights after we retired to bed, she would keep her head on my chest
and hold me tight, tears flowing down her cheeks... I would take her in my arms
with wet eyes, we would not say anything to each other… we did not need words!
When we grew up to be not so young, I
would apply mehandi in her hair. She hated grey. I too
hated grey; they reminded me of an end to a beautiful journey. She had been
doing my manicure and pedicure for long; I used to tease her but never went to
any salon... I was not a ‘parlour’ man in any case.
When we grew older we shifted our
base from the metro to our farms, we would play a more active role in the
school we opened when we were young, and it had blossomed into the best school
of the district. We would see our spices and
herbs everyday now rather than once in a month or so.
We never discussed politics but we
always voted after a debate on who is the right candidate… we voted for the
same candidate except when there was a favourite actress of her in the
election. We smiled and allowed each other… life is not so dependent on leaders
when we are our own.
We had four children and all so
innocent and sweet… one or two not so sharp as the others but they all had one
thing in common when they grew up… they seemed happy with life and they always
carried a smile.
We both loved Krishna, Buddha,
Mahavira, and Shiva. Then there were Laotzu, Confucius, and other path showers
we discussed... Oh and did we practice drills of LRH?
Unknowingly my whole life revolved
around her and she was the centre who was holding me on to life… without her it
would have been all meaningless.
I knew my time had come, I was a
little ill. I kept my head in her lap, she also knew that we were old, I held
her and she held me tighter as if never to let me go away.. how afraid I was to
know that I had to be without her. I had never lived without her at my side; I
was no one without her, she made me... then she gently touched my hands and
kissed me on forehead, I took her hands in mine.. her hands were trembling, so
were mine, I saw eternity in her eyes… I still saw the sparkle as mine slowly
ebbed away.
It was not even a minute as I moved
over those two bodies without knowing what to do, when I saw one collapsing on
the other and someone emanating… she came up from the other body, I see a
content smile and an exciting sparkle…
..We go on to celebrate another
life…!
Hey, I Love her!
I would woo and marry her - in this
and all my lives to come!
